People’s History: Fred and Nichole

From Vatican II to the LGBTQ+ closet: “open the windows and let in the fresh air”

“Following Jesus has nothing to do with rules and regulations,” said Fred Dabrowski.

Nichole Carrubba

A couple friends and I recently had the chance to sit (virtually) with Fred and Dora, active elders in Call To Action. Although we were not in person due to the pandemic, we logged on from different parts of the country with lit candles and warm tea. We gathered, we listened, and we processed what it means to follow Jesus and “be the church” in an ever-evolving world.

It’s been over 50 years since Vatican II and Pope John XXIII made the remarkable proclamation that it was time to “open the windows and let in the fresh air.” While the world outside the Catholic Church was drastically changing, many people within it felt disconnected to the Latin liturgy and a church culture primarily structured by rules and regulations.

Fred was one of those people. Although he grew up immersed in the Catholic world prior to Vatican II, he described the Catholic Church then as “rule oriented” and difficult to connect with. Fasting was taken so seriously that one morning as a young altar boy he was so fatigued that he fainted in the middle of the liturgy. Latin liturgies also felt particularly strange because no one understood the language, which made people feel like they “were there, but not there” at the same time. It is a line I’ve heard over and over in different ways -- about the feeling of not being seen by the Church. These stories show some of the ways that the Church prioritized rules over the dignity of the human person.

Vatican II was an exhilarating time to be Catholic. As it took a step back from Latin liturgies to embrace all languages, it planted the seeds of hope for many. Catholicism could be embraced in a multitude of ways that invited more active participation from the church community and lay people. Interfaith dialogue, reform of religious (orders’) life, and a prioritization of Catholic Social Teaching continued to pave the way for church members to be included and be seen as more than a number in the congregation.

Fred Dabrowski

Vatican II certainly planted the seeds for changes needed to let in the “fresh air” and give the Catholic Church new life, but all seeds need time to grow and flourish. For Fred, hope was stifled when the hierarchy retracted many of the benefits which came from Vatican II and held fast to its old ways. Instead of connecting with the people of the Church, emphasis was put back on the rules. Many people, including Fred, longed for a deeper experience of community coming together and have since started their own intentional communities where they can celebrate the richness of the liturgy and be together more authentically. To Fred and his community, following Jesus isn’t about being perfect at following rules. It’s a celebration of being together and serving one another as Jesus did in his own ministry.

This feeling of “not being seen” is common amongst Catholics. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, it can become a matter of choosing between staying closeted or simply leaving the Catholic Church. I am a Catholic lesbian who has not left the Church, but I don’t always come out to other Catholics. Staying closeted has protected my safety as well as previous jobs. I feel seen as a filled seat in the pews, but I don’t feel seen authentically for who I am. When I’ve taught in Catholic schools, my LGBTQ+ students have expressed feeling isolated because they do not have teachers who identify with them. Church teachings should not be held onto so tightly that we forget to be human with each other. People can’t breathe in a place where their dignity is being denied.

I write this in 2020, when finding fresh air to breathe is becoming increasingly difficult. We are living during a worldwide pandemic with mandatory mask regulations. Wildfires along the West Coast of the United States are some of the worst they’ve ever been, forcing people to spend weeks at a time indoors because the air is too toxic to go outside, and the smoke is having an impact on states all over the country. There are many people living on the streets without shelter, making them all the more vulnerable to illness and smoke. Protests for Black Lives Matter chant the phrase, “I can’t breathe!” to call out police brutality and systemic racism. We need to turn our attention to communities that cannot breathe or we will all suffocate. 

What does it mean to follow Jesus in an ever-evolving world? We desperately need to let in the fresh air once again. Jesus never sent anyone away; he always had time, space, and energy to welcome those whom society struggled to embrace. He fearlessly challenged certain rules, like that against picking food on the Sabbath when his disciples were hungry (Mark 2:23-27). Church teachings should never be prioritized over human dignity. Fresh air isn’t a luxury, it’s vital to our livelihood. It isn’t reserved for the rich, for those who are white, and it especially isn’t reserved for the patriarchy. Having our dignity acknowledged by the church and structured around what it means to be human shouldn’t be a privilege. 

I’m inspired when I listen to elders like Fred. It is clear that his Catholic faith is important to him, but he is still embracing his ability to grow and evolve as a Catholic too. We are all meant to grow, bloom, and flourish. May we continue to open the windows of our hearts and let in the fresh air.