Optional Forgiveness
When I prepared for the Sacrament of Reconciliation in 2nd grade, I remember feeling so scared. Afraid that I would do something wrong, afraid the priest would yell at me. My mother tried to comfort me. She said, “Marci, you have nothing to worry about. The priest will forgive you, no matter what you have done, because God already has.” This offered me some courage as I knelt down behind the screen in the confessional. It allowed me to speak what was heaviest on my heart to the vested man. I passed my first confession without passing out. A good day, to be certain. Decades later, I have always held onto that truth: in the confessional, no sin is unforgivable because God’s love knows no limits.
That is until I read the newspaper headlines, “Pope enables priests to forgive women after abortion.” Huh? I thought if a woman decided to go to confession after she had an abortion, a priest would automatically forgive her. Why would Pope Francis have to give special permission?
As I read further, I understood that Francis was just reiterating a Church teaching that is blurry because of the political controversy surrounding this issue. Allow me to paraphrase: when a woman who knows abortion is wrong still has one, she excommunicates herself. However, if she goes to Rome or her local Cathedral, makes a confession, participates in mass, and prays for the Pope’s intentions, she can be forgiven. Whew. Somehow, I still feel unresolved.
As Pope Francis admits with beautiful words of compassion, abortion is far from black and white. There are layers of complexities that surround a woman’s decision. And what about the men that play a role in the decision to have an abortion? The ones who are controlling and abusive, unengaged or absent? Have they excommunicated themselves? What do they have to do to receive forgiveness?While my questions linger, still unresolved, I am drawn inward. When is my heart hard? When is my forgiveness conditional? Am I brave enough to step into the light of the Gospel and forgive 70 x 7 times? Do my actions demonstrate my mother’s wisdom? God’s forgiveness is complete, far from optional.
