Kerber Family in Rome

Christa Kerber, a Call To Action Vision Council Member, and her family have traveled to Rome to network with others there for the Synod on the Family. Below are reflections on their experience.

OCTOBER 16 – GOD OF SURPRISES

To tell the truth, I’m a little afraid of surprises.

Like so many of us, I love my comfort zone–I stick to my routine as much as possible, assigning certain tasks to certain days and hours, week in and week out. So, I kind of get the apprehension some of our bishops seem to be feeling toward Pope Francis’ repeated calls to be open to God’s surprises.

When I first heard of Call To Action’s search for someone to represent our community in Rome during this month’s Synod on the Family, I thought for one brief moment about how amazing that experience could be, then moved on with my day. It would be difficult, I concluded, to arrange time off of school for my kids, or to be away from them. I was barely keeping up with my to-do list as it was. I thought of all the other things for which we could use the money.

For some reason, though, this opportunity wouldn’t leave me alone–it kept popping up in my Facebook feed, my email, several times a day. Finally, after talking with my husband, Scott, we decided that I should throw my name in the hat. IF I was chosen to go, and IF the timing worked out, we would all go–we could dream, right? I submitted my name.

I could not have been more surprised when I heard from CTA staff that I’d been selected.

It was only to be a few days, though, so it wouldn’t be worth the trouble to bring the whole family.

I was surprised again when the airfare caused it to make much more financial sense to stay a week, rather than just a few days. We would all be going to Rome!

So, here we are, two days from departure, packing, tidying the house.,.. We have HUNDREDS of Postcards for the Pope from families across the country, and a beautiful drawing, rainbow rosary, and note from 5-year old Malena, to deliver to the Vatican, in hopes that the our brother Francis will be surprised at how clear it becomes to him that all families must be warmly welcomed to the Eucharistic table. Perhaps we’ll have a conversation or two with some bishops, more opportunities to surprise each other.

There is no reason to believe any of these things, except that we are the children of a “God who always surprises us.”

Kerber family checking out Rome’s ancient sites

OCTOBER 19 – WEARY & EXCITED

Today’s surprise: After 28 hours in transit (all scheduled, no delays–hooray!), we all slept in, EXCEPT for Scott, who, despite getting NO sleep for 36 hours, was up by 8 a.m. and brought us fresh pastry and pizzette for breakfast!

We spent the rest of the day exploring the neighborhood around us (Aurelio, and nearby Prati), getting our bearings, discovering things to do, and, of course, things to eat! I’ve been talking with Frank deBernardo of New Ways Ministry, planning a pranzo, and reaching out to other progressive Catholics who are spending time in Rome this week.

Meanwhile, the news coming out of the Synod so far this week is a bit more hopeful than it was earlier in the month, although still full of intrigue, with even “experts” unwilling to make any real predictions on the final outcome. My prayer for the Synod fathers continues to be, “Be not afraid.”

Tomorrow, we visit the US Bishops Visitors Office, and we’ll see where we go from there…

OCTOBER 20 – MAN-MADE STRUCTURES

Emperors, kings, and popes have shaped this place. There is so much beauty here, but much of it is cold and hard: inscriptions etched sharply into, and figures carved from marble, stone, and brick. Thousands of years of men’s names followed by numbers.

The Earth, though, our mother, has softened the edges. Marble is weathered, brick crumbling, stucco and stone chipping away. Flora and fauna pay little attention to these structures men have held in such esteem. She shapes our world, has always shaped it, patiently, persistently, only on occasion displaying the sheer power at her disposal, to bring everything back into balance.

Our Church, too, we call our mother. Although she’s been led into the current era by a patriarchal structure modeled after the civilization that once thrived here, she is, by her birth and at her heart, a community–a place for us to be nurtured, one that is radically welcoming and inclusive. She (calling to mind Mary) also strives for balance, usually with patience, persistence. Woe be to the men, though, who do not heed her intimations, for she may one day surprise us with a total, violent, destruction of our man-made structures.

OCTOBER 21 – OF LOVE, TRUST, & MESSY RELATIONSHIPS

I had a plan, but by opening with this statement, you probably already suspect how it went.

We had four tickets for this morning’s general audience. I was completely prepared to be in line by 7:30 a.m., in order to get as close as possible to the path the Popemobile would take prior to the catechesis. I’d get great photos to share with you all, and my family and I would be inspired by the Holy Father’s words. My family did not share my enthusiasm.

We’d done a lot of walking yesterday, and our sleep patterns are still not quite right. Nick had trouble sleeping at all, so Scott and I decided I’d go early with Ryan, he and Nick would sleep a bit later and meet us there, with the understanding that we probably wouldn’t find each other until the end.

I got up at 6 a.m., got dressed in the dark, and went to wake Ryan. The boy who is up an hour earlier than he needs to be for school each morning did not stir. OK, I thought, I have some time–I set an alarm and napped for 15 more minutes, then tried again to wake him–no deal. Twice more I tried, with no success.

My decision now was, go alone, or miss my chance for a good position. I waited. Everyone started to move around 8. We bickered about what to do for breakfast. We got there around 9.

From the South entrance to the Piazza, there was no line at security, and we landed right in front of a jumbotron. We were close enough to the aisle to clearly see the Pope as he went by (although not close enough to get a good photo). We weren’t crushed against a barrier, and the whining from my boys didn’t start until the fifth (of seven) summary (delivered in the languages of those present). As Francis spoke of the beauty of love and fidelity in the family, I looked at mine, and was glad I’d found it in my heart to bend a bit to the needs of mine. “Love, like friendship,” he said, “owes its strength and beauty to the fact that it generates a bond without curbing freedom. Love is free, the promise of the family is free, and this is its beauty. Without freedom there is no friendship, without freedom there is no love, without freedom there is no marriage. So, freedom and fidelity are not opposed to each other; on the contrary, they support each other, in terms of both interpersonal and social relationships… “No school can teach the truth of love, if the family does not do so” (read a more extensive, although still partial, transcript here).

At lunch with Frank DeBernardo of New Ways Ministry, he said something, which I suspect he didn’t realize would be as profound as it became to me. “I feel sorry for the conservative and traditionalist Catholics right now. As progressive Catholics, questioning authority is part of who we are, but they are used to obeying Popes without question, and under Francis, this is more than a little challenging for them.”

As the Synod fathers, and the rest of us, discuss the challenging issues at hand, we often tend to divide ourselves into conservative and liberal, traditionalist and progressive, and, much as we often do within our own families, focus on how to make our own voices heard, how to be sure we are treated fairly. But Frank’s empathetic words reminded me that we need to remember to be loving, supportive, to treat each other like family, however messy that might be at times.

In response to Pope Francis’ October 17 speech, on the 50th anniversary of the Synod of Bishops, Bishop George Murry said, “[Pope Francis] believes the Holy Spirit is active not only in the pope and the bishops but also in the people, and that, walking together, we can find the path that God has laid out for us. I thought his point yesterday is that we do need to trust each other and allow the Lord to guide us through the Spirit which lives in each one of us.”

In our families, in our Church, in our world, it is this trust in each other and in God that is so difficult, especially when our plans and routines and expectations are disrupted, yet it is essential.