Third Saturday of Advent
“On Anticipation”
Me, ready for Christmas
Whenever you hear the word “awesome,” you assume it is about something positive. But it actually used to describe God as a force so terrifying that to encounter Him would injure you — or worse. In those days, to say that God is “awesome” was to say that He is as mighty as any nightmare or monster. Indeed: love God, but proceed with caution.
In today’s readings, Manoah’s wife is visited by an angel whom she describes as “terrible, indeed”; when Zechariah is visited by an angel, he becomes “troubled by what he saw, and fear came upon him.” But the angel who visited Manoah’s wife came to deliver good news; and the angel who visited Zechariah outright said to him, “Do not be afraid.” The angels are not monsters. Their visit is not a nightmare. Instead, they bring with them anticipation.
Tiny, immigrant me
Christmas is just a few days away. I would not blame you if you are not exactly in the spirit of the season. This has been a hard year. The feeling of anticipation is a little bit like the old definition of “awesome,” and the “terrible” angels that visited Manoah’s wife and Zechariah. Anticipation is two parts excitement and one part fear. You might think that one part fear is not very much, but it is very potent. We have been in a constant state of anticipation all year, never knowing what comes next.
I was born in the Philippines. I can only imagine the magnitude of anticipation my parents felt when we moved here to the United States. This young couple and their only child were leaving behind all their loved ones on one side of the world for another. Fortunately, my parents met good people here and built solid, lifelong friendships. I am not sure if I can say the same about immigrants coming here today.
Out of the closet and ready to party!
The first person I ever came out to was one of my best friends in college. That anticipation was intense: I was excited to make this honest confession, to re-introduce my whole, queer self; but I was also scared because this confession, this re-introduction, was raw and vulnerable. So, I ended up blurting out the news. Many years later to this day, we are still best friends.
Me and the Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris
I think what mitigates the fear in anticipation is our faith in God. He is indeed mighty, but He does not intend to scare us. Not at all! He proves this in the promises He made to Manoah, Manoah’s wife, Zechariah, and Elizabeth. No matter how bad this year has been, it does not dim the light of God’s ultimate promise: Christ the New-Born. Not having enough faith is what made Gabriel, the angel, so critical of Zechariah, who could not see past the idea that he and his wife were too old to receive good news.
Where are we today, nearing the end of this grueling year?
We are closer to God.
Mary, Holy Mother, Full of Grace. We yearn to be like you every year. You received the good news and did not know the way ahead, yet you answered the call. Lead us now to Christ the New-Born so that we may have eternal hope all through good years and in bad. Plead for us that our fears and doubts may be forgiven.
