Third Saturday of Advent
“Queer Conceptions”
As humans try to make sense of the world around us, we like to create structures to bring us stability along the journey. This structuration includes the construction of a vision for what a family looks like. We create family configuration expectations and transmit those to our children through generations, sometimes unintentionally. Nonetheless this indoctrination can be hurtful to many people who do not fit the mold due to their identity or their calling.
I grew up in Puerto Rico, where this a particular conception of family as “father-mother-children” is quite prevalent. A few years ago, I was talking with a beloved heterosexual couple who are my friends from the island. They told me they were unable to conceive children. While we talked, I sensed sadness and shame on their behalf, which made me realize: these people are “coming out” to me! They are redefining themselves as not fitting the oppressive mold imposed upon them and they are externalizing this new identity. In a sense, they are queer! While I certainly acknowledge that many heterosexual cisgender people hold a privilege over those who are LGBTQ+, I still can’t help but note the presence of “queerness as difference” in their lives when they willingly or unwillingly break against the socially prescribed mold. But most importantly, I think these instances of queerness can truly help Catholics better make sense of the way God works through all of our lives.
In this week’s readings we, again, see God’s unconventional work manifest through the conception of incredible people in the wombs of women who, by all accounts, should have been unable to conceive a child. I must say, for an institution that is so keen on promoting a particular configuration of family, the Catholic Biblical tradition is certainly riddled with rather queer (read: unusual) family dynamics. According to this tradition, God continues to make use of the marginalized, radical, and countercultural to reveal a message of love and hope to all people. God transforms the world through unlikely people.
Why is God doing this? Why go to the margins? Well, perhaps it is because our God of surprises recognizes the beauty of difference. It is only through the unconventional that the prophetic takes shape. When I looked into my friends’ eyes as they told me they were unable to conceive, I couldn’t help but remind them that their love and their relationship is still fruitful in many ways. They now have an opportunity to help transform our world by enriching how we conceive of the family. While it is hard to mourn the life they dreamt of, only by accepting their current reality can they then “give birth” to a new message of loving hope for all who are different.
In the case of the unnamed wife of Manoah, God chose her to give birth to Samson, the powerful judge who delivered the Israelites from the philistines. Several centuries later, Elizabeth is also gave birth to prophesy in the form of John, who announced the coming of Jesus and later recognized the presence of the Messiah. These people were not conceived through the traditional form of conception prescribed by the Church. Nonetheless, these unlikely, queer conceptions still brought forth a justice-based recognition of God’s love.
In my journey as a Catholic, LGBTQ+ people have led this way for me. Beyond arguments of sexual morality and the mechanics of the sexual act, I recognize God’s prophetic presence in this community through their lived experience. Their lives and their families are a witness to unexpected love present in our midst and love is always a good thing. Their queerness gives birth to God. However, as we know, the existence of queerness in our society is challenging because it asks us to question those very molds that have been placed upon us. For that reason, LGBTQ+ people’s queer conception of family and love is radical and transformative. Most importantly, it presents for all of us an opportunity to embrace this radical transformative love.
My fervent hope for the Church during Advent is that it prepares itself to recognize the diverse forms of prophetic love being born into the world through unconventional means. May we all prepare our hearts to recognize the love of God brought forth through diverse, queer ways. May we do away with structures that prevent that recognition. And may we be courageous enough to embrace the fullness of God’s love through community and justice. Amen.
