Women's Forum: What Francis Needs to Know

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend the forum on Women in the Catholic Church: What Francis Needs to Know. As a Generation X Catholic woman, much of what I heard resonated with my own experiences at a deep level.

Laura Singer, former president of Women’s Ordination Conference, shared her story of being in 5th grade and confused when all of the boys were asked to go with Father. They would be trained to be servers for Mass. Laura and her friend couldn’t understand why they weren’t allowed to be altar servers as well. Her words took me back to my own childhood, wanting desperately to serve at Mass, to be just a little closer to the altar than the first-row pew my family sat in. It wasn’t until my senior year in high school that one parish in my hometown allowed girl servers but it wasn’t my family’s parish. I found the courage to ask the parish priest if I could serve at his parish. He told me kindly but clearly, No.  His reasons were that I wasn’t a member of his church and if he let me, many other girls would want to do the same thing. I never asked again.

When my daughter was in grade school, she was allowed to be a Mass server, and she was good at it. She was careful and meticulous. She understood the flow of the liturgy and confidently stood, sat, and kneeled at the correct times. She held the book, brought the cruet, bowl, and towel with dignity and grace. Watching her do what I could not offered a balm to my wound until the day it was announced that the bishop only wanted boy servers when he celebrated Mass. My daughter came home disgusted and hurt, telling me the reason given was that only men were Jesus’ apostles. That day she made a decision to stop being an altar server altogether. I understood her pain.

What I am amazed at now is how low my expectations were. I didn’t ask to be a priest. I didn’t think it would ever be possible.   I didn’t ask to have a voice, to have any influence in decision-making; I didn’t ask that my gifts and talents for ministry be used and celebrated. All I wanted to do was to be a server. And, even that was denied.

Today I am not satisfied with exclusion; I am not ok with being the ‘lesser sex.’ I stand with my fellow sisters and brothers and ask hard questions. I keep talking because my voice is important, as all of our voices are. At the end of the day, declaration on Women in the Catholic Church was proclaimed in one voice. To read it, go to https://www.cta-usa.org/news/declaration-on-women-in-the-catholic-church

Saturday’s forum on women in the Catholic Church offered an opportunity to learn, to grow, to be emboldened. If you missed the forum, the live-streaming was recorded and you can access it on the Call To Action website.

Male and female, we are created equal in God’s eyes. This is what Pope Francis needs to know.